Best month yet.

I keep starting and stopping this post. It could be the fraction of me that wishes last month wasn’t over. It could also be the fraction of me who doesn’t remember how to properly “blog” or make cohesive sentences. Whatever fraction it is, it’s lacking. My muse is delayed and despite the endless amounts of stories and realizations I want to write, I’ve been staring at another blank document for a week now. I’m not sure how I am supposed to sum up a whole month of my life, especially a month like last month. I guess I’ll just start with where I was and what I was doing, and we can go from there.

I was in Saranac Lake, NY, a small town in the Adirondacks. Its quiet up there, but not when campers are around. It gets colder at night and the sun makes the lake sparkle during the day. Its always a three-sixty of luscious green trees and plants, making camp a continuous post-card picture that screams “here’s My masterpiece, I’ve made it just for you.” I worked in the kitchen from 6:30am till sometimes around 5pm. I loved every minute of it. The mornings were peaceful, with usually only 6 of us in there, making omelets or pancakes for three hours before campers devoured them. We would get to be in constant conversations, with the ones around us and with our Father, a great way to peacefully start the day. We would sit for too long at breakfast, deep in conversations or “questions of the day”, I’de down another glass of coffee then we would start on lunch. I worked with great people who loved the Lord and loved me through Him. They were willing to have fun and be serious at the same time, the best possible way to live. Lunch was always fun to make, the music would be louder and there would be another handful of people working with us. We’d dance more, but still talk a lot. That kitchen was a kitchen of miracles. I cant say that enough. Things would get done just on time when we weren’t sure about it all day. There would be just enough of something, or the time and resources to make more of it. Oh and my God, he’d put joy in our hearts to cut 60 pounds of tomatoes for over an hour. And he’d put joy in our hearts to be indoors in long pants and closed toe shoes for most of the day. He’d put a lot of joy in my heart to be with those people, too, building such a unique, strong community around His name. That joy was powerful, and somehow He blessed me with it in copious amounts every day.

I learned a lot in that kitchen, and some outside of it too. I had expectations on what I would learn or how I would grow, who I would meet and how I would change. But, we all know where expectations get you… no where. And I got a lot farther than I could’ve ever expected with them. I went into Summer Staff thinking about how much new stuff I would learn about God and my place in His world. However, no matter how many times I say it to myself its not enough, my God, He takes those expectations and blows them up. He gives me a different, better path, with more joy and peace than I could’ve planned. And that’s exactly what He did there.

My God reminded me that He had me there not to make friends. He had me there not to be seen or interact with campers. He had me there not to win people over or fall in love. He had me there to talk to me, daily, tell me how much He loved me, and remind me of why I do what I do. And the other things, the friends and such, those fell like flowers on the side of His path, making the whole thing much more pleasing and beautiful.

The biggest thing He told me was that the gospel is still for me. For me, Katie Randazzo. The gospel I’ve heard and told for some time is still for me every day. I think I forget that, especially as a Young Life leader. I wake up and pray that I can have the strength to tell others that “the gospel is for YOU!” I don’t wake up and thank my God that the gospel is for me, too. I realized how big the gospel is. That God could’ve done anything to this world when we turned our backs. He could’ve blown the whole thing up! Who knows! But nope, not my Father. He would take his own son, put him here on earth, let him share the truth about his Father, gather some people to walk with him, and be hated on by many others, then he would give up His own Sons life to make up for our mistakes. It makes my heart race just typing that. He gave up the only thing that he had as a real-life representation of Himself. For me. ME! Ah, its just so… big. And I can’t help but fall in love with Him over and over again when I think about it. It fuels me every day to think about that, that I am so loved and pursued that someone would sacrifice their own kin for my well being.

I learned a lot of other stuff to, and have a lot of other stuff I want to write about. But I don’t think anything gets bigger than re-learning the complexity of the gospel. Being brought back down to the real meaning and intent behind everything is just what I needed. I loved every day of being at Saranac. I can honestly say that. I met some people and made some friends who have already been huge blessings to me in numerous ways. I re-realized how big my Father is, and how great and glorious his daily path for me is. And, even at the crack of dawn, He still woke me up and said “dance with Me, I’ll show you where to put your feet.” (and He is the only possible way I could’ve gotten up at 5:30am for a month.) He reminded me of where I came from, and I thanked Him daily for where He put me. He showed me how beautiful His story was, and how far He goes to show that He loves us. And, of course, after being surrounded by His message and Young Life for a month straight, I was reminded of how much I was made for this.