So, as much as time was going slowly while it was happening, I still don’t know where those two weeks went. Well, I mean, I do, but its just crazy to see 14 days gone in such a quick way. I guess its because I am in it now. I am in that part of my life that I slowed down time to ponder over for so long. The part of my life I tried to paint perfectly in my head, the part I decided to white-wash over and choose a different path, that part where God said “no ma’am” and changed the colors on my picture so that it was a color scheme that was good and pleasing to both Him and I.
I’ve never had to wait for something so patiently in my whole life. I wasn’t even this eager to get into the school of my dreams (mostly because I knew it was unrealistic) or this eager to graduate from high school or even this eager to come here, to CNU, to crack open that new chapter of my story. Nope, none of those waits compare to this wait. The wait of what seemed like a century but in reality was actually around 8 months, plus the two years since I decided that this is what was worth waiting for in this world.
July of 2009 is when I decided to start waiting. It was on a hot summer afternoon at Windy Gap when God overwhelmed me with the news that I was made for this and this is what He wants me to do. What is this you ask? This is YoungLife. This is the organization turned my whole world around. This is what I’ve been waiting for.
I knew I wanted to lead coming into school. And if I am going to be frank, I really only looked at schools with solid YoungLife I could see myself in. The deciding factor in my head on why I should come here to CNU is because I got a quick little taste of their YL community and how it works, and my-oh-my how could I not want more than a taste of that sweet sweet thing for the next four years. I googled high schools in the area over the summer, seeing what the dynamics and logistics were. I dreamed of going to camp with a whole new area, having conversations with a whole new set of girls, seeing all new hearts and seeing them be cleared by the greatest Father any daughter could ask for.
And, that day, the day I anxiously awaited since that afternoon in North Carolina, that day oh it came, and it came slower than anything in this world yet. Once it hit, there was no turning back. I had nightmares, I made lists, I made worry-some phone calls, I typed eager texts, I walked through every scenario of where I could be placed because I had absolutely no idea and that scared me to death. Its not that I couldn’t have done well at any school with the strength and tools of the Lord, its just that I didn’t want to be disappointed or upset or anything like that when I finally found out what I had been waiting to find out.
5:30 came through slower than mud. I tried to do everything to distract myself from over thinking and fixating on the news about to come in at 5:30. I tried not to talk about it too much, but we all know, its very hard for Katie not to over think or over talk when she is excited or nervous. That’s just what I do, how I deal. So, 5:00 rolled around and the nervous shakes overwhelmed my body. A few phone calls came in right around 5:30 from some friends who knew I was on edge and wanted to fool me. Then, the most important phonecall of all, the phonecall that would contain the name of the school I was placed at for the rest of college came in. And I took the news, and I ran with it. And I danced, and leaped, and cried and laughed, shocked at where Joe decided to place me, excited for the new opportunities at the school, and already in love with the team I would be working beside for the next four years.
I walked to the placement BBQ with Autumn, both of us just squealing with excitement that what we had been waiting for was finally here. This was here. And this was good. And this worked out just the way it was supposed to (and this probably could’ve been spared my over-analyzing anxiety freak outs). As we got to the house, my new teammates came running towards me and embraced me with screams and hugs, and I laughed with Joe when he told me that he knew where I was going all along, and my freaking-out-phone-call to him the day before was now amusing, and now all the pre-hype was gone, and now everyone had a place where they were meant to have a place.
So now I’m here, I’ve got what I had waited for for so long. I’ve got a school, with a building, with a student body, with sports teams and clubs, and heartbreak and love. And I’ve got a heart that God has planted this school in long ago, watering the seed that needs to grow in order for me to love this school and these kids like He would love them. And I’ve got a team along side me that has that same heart, and a community of other teams and friends who have the hearts that are meant to build me up and encourage me along this way. I’ve got the tools to do His work here, not because he needs me to, but because I have the privilege to, all because I’ve got Him on my side.
I was told to wait patiently for the Lord and it would be good. Although my waiting included some anxious I don’t want to wait anymore thoughts and emotions, I still waited. I waited for this new chapter to open, and the new, bright white, empty pages that I can see in this chapter are anxiously awaiting new stories and times in which I put my all in the One above and try to make a difference to His creation.
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