Content

Oops Notice: I guess I should’ve posted this last week, when I wrote it, but instead I am posting it now. I am bad at finishing things I start, which is why this post was saved in a word document rather than posted to the blog. Nonetheless, it is here, for you to enjoy if you please.

Here I am, broken down by the forces of social media once again. I’ve been saying, “I’m going to start blogging” like people say, “I’m going to work out” after the New Year for quite some time now. I figure I should put my big girl pants on and just do it, especially after the amount of blog posts from other people I have been reading lately. So here goes nothing, sucked into the cyber world once again, I will fill these blank pages with a majority of rambling, because the truly insightful stuff goes in a composition notebook I keep close to my heart.

This week has been like a couch in a warm living room. I don’t know why I was given such a beautiful week. It was undeserved, seeing as though I didn’t have a terribly bad week last week, or the week before. It was just handed to me, for me to rest and enjoy, by a beautiful and big God who enjoys watching me have time to be still and take in His story.

 I could tell this week was going to be stellar, after a particularly good weekend, and a very sweet conversation Sunday night with three beautiful friends. What did we talk about? None other than beauty. We chatted, shared, smiled, and hurt about how we are beautiful brides of God, and sometimes the world just doesn’t make us feel like that. The conversation between these girls was a blessing, even the silence, because it was so clear how we have been written into each other’s stories.

Side note: beautiful is my all time favorite word. I think it’s a packed word, packed of emotion, vividness, the unseen, and love. I overuse the word beautiful, it isn’t used enough, and maybe I am oversimplifying the complexity of the word, but in my eyes, it should be given more of an appearance. 

Anyways, this week I have felt beauty in my heart continuously. No, not just looking in the mirror and saying “dang, that girl is beautiful” or “oh, look at the beautiful sunset.” Peace, beauty, grace, all of those warm words that joyfully fill our hearts when things are going the right way. I think its because I’ve been given time. This semester, I have at least 2 hours between all of my classes, which is different from my “blocked” schedule of last year. And, maybe just because its winter and I enjoy hibernating, but I like it so much more this way. I’ve been getting so much more breathing time and space this semester. I like sitting on my bed or at my desk in my room, surrounded by notes, pictures, quotes, verses, a vivid scrapbook for a room.

One day this week, Newport News supirised us with some abnormal weather. Not. It was a sheet of white in the sky, spit-rain, and cold wind. Im beginning to see the beauty in this awful weather, only because its what I am getting comfortable with, but in the moment, it keeps me cooped up. So, after spending three hours in The Commons cafeteria, I decided it was time to stay in my dorm for the rest of the day. And, because the weather took away my sky, I made my own stars. A little bit of beauty in the dreary day. These stars, hanging from Mary and I’s walls with the words “faith, hope, and joy” in between them, serve as a little blessing, and a little reminder that when the world takes away my stars, I have to make new ones. It’s the simple things, really. 

This week, and new semester, my heart has felt very content. I guess I am just at one of those real sweet spots in my story, the kind you hope for while you struggle and never want to leave while you’re in it. Im still learning, growing, and struggling, but the big man upstairs is giving me some time to walk. Its nice and I like it, but I am ready to climb the next mountain.